The Coaching Habit: Interview with Michael Bungay Stanier

The Coaching Habit: Interview with Michael Bungay Stanier

The Coaching Habit: Interview with Michael Bungay Stanier

If you haven’t stumbled across The Coaching Habit yet, now’s the time.

The Coaching Habit is sneaky-sophisticated. And better yet, easy to read. I finished it on a 2-hour flight and had time to spare. Here’s a look at just how much I enjoyed it. Note: the dog-ears.

Being such a fan of the book, I was so grateful when the author, Michael Bungay Stanier, agreed to take a few minutes to give us some insight.

Here’s our conversation.

Phil: What inspired you to write The Coaching Habit?

Michael: My company earns its way by teaching busy managers how to coach in 10 minutes or less. The book grew out of lessons taught and lessons learned. And behind all of that was my desire to make coaching…or better said, being more coach-like…something that everyone feels they can do.

Phil: What do you think are the top 3 takeaways leaders will get from your book?

Michael: That’s a hard question because it’s different for everyone of course, and that’s the way I like it. But the feedback I hear most often is…One – Being lazy turns out to be a pretty smart leadership move. Two – Coaching is something anyone can do. It’s simpler than you think…although simple doesn’t always mean easy. And The Third One is – The secret sauce is turning these tools into daily habits.

Phil here. I just want to say that this was a totally unfair question. Because as you can see from my dog-eared pages there are at least 50 takeaways. Here are two more that I personally really loved.

All the questions. Anyone that’s been a part of our community for any length of time knows how important we feel it is for leaders to be asking questions. Stanier agrees. His book provides Seven Essential Questions that leaders should be asking their team. My favorite…And what else? on page 57. Stanier describes this question as “the quickest and easiest way to uncover new possibilities.” 

“Silence is often a measure of success.” As leaders, we have such a tendency to feel like we need to fix the problem. Fix the uncomfortable silence. Stanier suggests soaking up the silence instead. Give your team the freedom to lead the charge after you ask a question. To take that question wherever they need it to go.

Phil: I loved that part about being lazy being a smart leadership move myself. I don’t consider myself lazy, but I do like to maximize the time I can spend goofing off, so I was glad to see that 🙂 How about the leaders in your life? What leader inspired you most? What leadership behavior did they have that you most admire?

Michael: To tell you the truth, almost every leader I’ve worked with has influenced how I show up. Both the dark and the light. MK, one of my early bosses, was both brilliantly creative and a little fast and loose with the truth. AG, another boss, showed me how hard it is to lead under pressure and how you have to keep your focus, both on your goals and your people.

Phil: Speaking of the dark side of leadership…and don’t worry I’m not going to bring up Star Wars (as much as I want to)…Have you ever “crashed and burned” as a leader? What happened? And what did you learn from it?

Michael: Ha! OF COURSE I’ve crashed and burned. You know how they say walking is just “falling interrupted”? I’d say that’s true about leadership too. Part of what failing does is help remind me what I’m good at and not good at. And forces me to delegate to better people than me.

Phil again. This is such a great point. Part of being a great leader is to realize that you don’t need to have your hand in everything. When you try to do that, you’re not only telling your team that you don’t trust them to do their job. You’re also probably driving them nuts. AND spreading yourself too thin. Then you become the thing holding business up. TRUST your team. Let someone else take the reigns every now and then.

Phil: Haven’t we all. Okay, Michael. Thanks for taking the time to dive into your book today. Last question. Is there anything else going on with you these days that you would like our readers to know about? And where can they learn more about you?

Michael: Thanks Phil. This book has really taken off. And the team and I have set ourselves a goal to “make it a classic.” So we’re playing around with ways to keep it in people’s awareness for as long as we can…You know, most books come and go pretty quickly. If anyone would like to help, a review on Amazon.com is always really appreciated. You can find more about the book at TheCoachingHabit.com and more about me at BoxOfCrayons.biz.

I love finding simple, easy-to-digest resources for improving my own leadership. And The Coaching Habit is just that. We hope you check it out for yourselves. Already read it? Let us know what you thought!

Staff Appreciation: The Hidden Key to Solve Resistance to Change

Staff Appreciation: The Hidden Key to Solve Resistance to Change

Staff Appreciation: The Hidden Key to Solve Resistance to Change

What does staff appreciation have to do with managing change?

Everything.

ATD’s Change Again? article gives some hard-to-ignore reasons for why you want to focus on staff appreciation when managing change.

“When staff feel appreciated, resistance diminishes.”

Remember the three reasons people resist change.

  • They don’t get it (an information gap);
  • They don’t like it (an emotional reaction); or
  • They don’t like you (a relational trust issue).

Think about how staff appreciation impacts each of these three areas.

When a person doesn’t feel appreciated, it’s safe to assume that there’s a lot of noise going on in his head. Most of the time he’s just talking to himself. Why does he stay? Is there some place else he could be? Somewhere he could get more recognition? Do something different? Maybe make more money? Meanwhile, he’s trying to find the headspace to actually get his work done. Then you throw a new change effort on top of that.

When your team is so busy thinking about how their own lives need to change, it’s hard for them to really hear or care about some new change effort the suits upstairs think will make things better. So they don’t listen. They’re distracted. Not really into it. They don’t care.

The solution isn’t to force the new change effort down your team’s throats. Instead it’s time to focus a little more time on showing some staff appreciation. Remind them of what they love about their job and working with you. Clear some of the clutter out of their heads. All leaders have the authority to show appreciation. It costs nothing but time.

All leaders have the authority to show appreciation. It costs nothing but time.

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Do this, and suddenly the details of the change effort don’t seem nearly so daunting. Folks will bear down a little harder when they encounter a road block. They’ll start saying “yes, and” instead of “yes, but.” Resistance will start to melt away.

Staff appreciation lowers anxiety levels and increases “above and beyond” behavior at work. And when they feel valued (as people and employees) by their leaders, it’s easier to accept that whatever change is ahead is in the best interest of the whole team.

“Feeling appreciated creates energy for change.”

It takes energy to resist. And most of the time, people don’t even realize they’re doing it. Human nature lives in the subconscious. And feelings are hard to control.

You know how it is. We’ve all been in situations where we’re running into the wind. It’s exhausting. Truly managing change requires that you help your team reallocate that energy. Move it from resistance to focus on productive tasks.

Employee recognition is not the same as appreciation.

Most companies have some sort of employee recognition program already. That’s great. But it doesn’t solve any of the problems that only staff appreciation can solve.

Appreciation is personal. It’s one on one. And it’s about more than praising solid work. It’s also about praising personal qualities.

Do you have a member of the team that always keeps her cool even when the proverbial s*** hits the fan? Tell her you appreciate that. What about one that pulls out the decorations around the holidays and makes it a little more enjoyable to be in the office? Show appreciation for that. How about the guy that sweeps up a whole bay of the shop floor, even though he’s only required to clean up his area. Tell him how much you appreciate him.

These things are called organizational citizenship behaviors. Not only do they boost morale and productivity, they are keys to successfully managing change.

Have you noticed a change in behavior when you stepped up your appreciation game? Do you ever notice your willingness to muscle through change drop when you aren’t feeling appreciated? Try some staff appreciation. See what happens. And stay tuned for our final article on Managing Change in the workplace and in life.

Managing Change: 3 Reasons People Resist Change

Managing Change: 3 Reasons People Resist Change

Managing Change: 3 Reasons People Resist Change

Managing change is difficult.

It’s one of the hardest things for leaders to get right. This is because effectively managing change requires leaders to put strategy aside and get real with their team.

Remember our change management article on how to avoid “rolling the DICE” on change? It described the Boston Consulting Group’s DICE model. It is a valuable way to assess the hard factors behind managing change. Have you set a clear and attainable timeline? Did you thoughtfully configure the team? Is there a commitment from the top leadership and from the front line? Have you considered how this change project affects the other duties of your team? Does some work need redistributed?

Managing change requires leaders to put strategy aside and get real with their team.

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There’s no doubt about it. In order to be successful in managing change efforts, you must think through the hard details. However, an article this month out of Talent Development Magazine points to employee resistance as the main cause of failed change efforts. And remember how commonly change efforts fail. Gallup tells us that, “70 percent of new initiatives implemented by organizations fail.”

Rick Maurer’s book, Beyond the Wall of Resistance, gives us three reasons why people resist change.

The three primary reasons people resist change are:

  1. “I don’t get it.” This has to do with a lack of information or understanding as to why the change is needed. If you’ve done a good job of running through the DICE factors, you should have everything you need to give employees a clear breakdown of how the change effort will be executed. But that begs an important question. Does your team know why the change is needed? How it will benefit them, the company, and the customers? If they don’t know these details, you are the weak link in the chain.
  2. “I don’t like it.” Here we’re taking into account a person’s “emotional reaction to how the change affects them.” This refers to the “Effort” and “Commitment” parts of the DICE model. Most changes make the workload more heavy (at least during the transition). Sometimes it lightens the load. While the idea of a little less responsibility may sound good, it often causes concern. A person may feel less valuable, less needed. They may fear their role is in jeopardy. And with that, their livelihood.
  3. “I don’t like you.” Let’s face it. If your leader is a jerk you may want to see him fail. You might even sabotage a change effort. Or you’ll have no motivation to help. Employees in this situation will lack grit and give up at the first sign of trouble. They feel little commitment to helping implement the change. They’ll lack trust and even question the motives behind the change (“is this just a way to get rid of my job?”)

The next time you’re struggling with managing change, take a moment to consider the three reasons your people might be resisting the effort.

If you’re struggling with managing change what should you do?

As Oscar Rogers teaches, it’s a three step process. Step One: Fix. Step Two: It. Step Three: Fix It!

The next article in our Managing Change series will help you get started on the three step process. We’ll be diving into how showing appreciation counteracts resistance.

How to Be a Good Manager: Create the Right Space

How to Be a Good Manager: Create the Right Space

How to Be a Good Manager: Create the Right Space

Wondering how to be a good manager? Great question.

Do you want to know how to be a good manager? For us, it’s simple. You must be less invading and more inviting. When things get stressful (and let’s face it, these days when aren’t they stressful) it is easy for you to become an additional burden to your team. But that’s when leaders get headed down the wrong path. People don’t grow, excel, or shine when they have no room to breathe.

Your heart is in the right place. After all, making sure the trains are running on time is your job. If things get off track it’s your job on the line. But applying that stress to the team – even when it is motivated for the right reasons – is the wrong way.

As a manager, it’s important for you to know just how productive your team is. Where they’re at on a project. If they’ve run into a road block. Maybe someone isn’t carrying their load. These are things you need to know. However, if you go searching that out. Especially if you just pop in unannounced and start down the list: “Where are you at on that project? Is it going to be on time? You know how important this project is, right? If it’s off track I need to know now.”

How to Create the Right Space

When we teach leaders how to be a good manager we explain the key to keeping morale high without suffocating your team through micro-management is to create a comfortable space where they come to you when things are off track. Think about the space around you. The energy you put off. The ease with which someone feels they can approach you. When they do approach you, do you invite the interruption or are you put off by it?

Want to know how to be a good manager? Start by managing yourself. Create the right space around you and your team will show up at your door.

how to be a good manager

What kind of space surrounds you? How do you think it effects your employees attempts to approach you? For a few quick, easy-to-implement tips on creating a more inviting space, check out the video above where I dive into the Right Space Tool. Next, click on the image to the left to download a PDF copy.

Change Your Perspective and Change Everything: Fall in Love with Your Job Part 3 of 3

Change Your Perspective and Change Everything: Fall in Love with Your Job Part 3 of 3

Change Your Perspective and Change Everything: Fall in Love with Your Job Part 3 of 3

Can you really change everything if you change your perspective?

Why not? There is one thing we know for sure. The way you see your self, your work, your friends, your world, has a direct connection to the way you feel about your self. Your work. Your friends. Your world. There are many things in life that are outside our control. But our perspective is not one of them. Change your perspective and you just might change everything.

This is the last bit of advice David Allan gives us on how to fall in love with your job. We wrote about the first two steps – hacking your job and improving relationships with coworkers – here and here.

People want to feel like their work is meaningful. We say that a lot these days. Do you believe it yet? Maybe you’re one of the people still trying to come around to that perspective. (Ah, perspective). We understand. Twenty years ago, few people required meaning to stay at a job. That doesn’t mean they didn’t crave it. Or didn’t feel the effects when it was missing. It just means they wouldn’t quit their job over it. That’s not true anymore.

A recent study by Deloitte found that “two-thirds of Millennials express a desire to leave their organizations by 2020.” Why? Because it’s important to them to “find work that matches their values.” And because 90% of them “want to use their skills for good.” This is the new business paradigm. You fail to accept at your peril. Millennials will account for 75% of the workforce by 2025. It’s time to change your perspective if you want your business to thrive.

Let’s get real though.

It’s not easy to find meaning in every job.

But those jobs still need done.

Allan pointed to research on a group of hospital cleaning staff. Most would look at duties like changing bed pans and mopping floors and assume people who fill those roles don’t get much satisfaction – much less meaning. They’d be right. Some of the people who did those jobs actually felt that way. But there were a few who felt otherwise.

These “others” viewed their tasks as critical roles in healing patients. From minimizing chances of infection. To keeping an eye out for signs of health issues in a patients stool. To being a random smile to a patient at his worst. Their job was important.

“By shifting the paradigm around their job and adding meaning and purpose, the hospital staff made the tougher parts of their job tolerable, even important, and changed their behavior to support that purpose.”

What can leaders do?

  • Change your perspective about your role. Rather than feeling like a mediator, a middleman, or an enforcer, consider yourself the foundation of your team’s support system. Not only do you help the business reach its goals to accomplish a bigger mission. You help your coworkers make it through their days without feeling unappreciated. Or devalued. Or (as best you can) bear the brunt of frustrations outside their control.
  • Emphasize the importance of each role on your team. You literally can not do this enough. Most of us can go through a whole day without praising one team member’s work without even realizing it. You want your people to feel like their work is meaningful. We’ve already covered the “why” behind that. So tell them. Tell them often. And walk them through the big picture of how that one “little” thing they do is vital to the success of the company. And its mission as a whole.
  • Encourage your team to change their perspective. This could be as simple as letting people recreate their job titles. The words we associate with our work have a direct impact on how we feel about ourselves. Think about it. How often are you asked what you do? One member of the hospital cleaning staff refused to call herself a “cleaning lady.” Instead, she dubbed herself an “Ambassador.” With that title came a responsibility to represent the hospital well. And to serve the patients in it well. What a mindset.

Do you think that changing perspectives can really makes that much of a difference? What has been your experience? Thanks for tuning into our How to Fall in Love with Your Job series. Good luck out there.

How to Get Along with Coworkers: Fall in Love with Your Job Part 2 of 3

How to Get Along with Coworkers: Fall in Love with Your Job Part 2 of 3

How to Get Along with Coworkers: Fall in Love with Your Job Part 2 of 3

If you can’t get along with coworkers you won’t love your job.

Recently we discussed David Allan’s first tip for falling in love with your job—hack it. This is part 2 of 3 in the How to Fall in Love with Your Job series.

Allan’s second tip has to do with how to get along with coworkers.

We all know that coworkers mostly fall into the “things about my job that I don’t have control over” category. We don’t get to pick who we work with. But the fact is, how we get along with coworkers (our relationships with them) has a direct impact on our daily lives. It can impact how we feel about ourselves and our work. And we do have control over how we choose to interact with people placed into our lives.

Three tips for how to get along with coworkers.

  1. Get to know them. It’s so easy to dislike Nick for always having something negative to say about your work. To you, it’s obvious he’s on some kind of power trip. But that may not be the case. Look at things from his point of view. Maybe you don’t know that Nick volunteers as a successful competitive softball coach outside of work. Even his daughters complain that he’s a stickler on the diamond too—but it gets results. After all, his teams have won the state tournament 3 years in a row. When you do know this you might see a more rounded picture of Nick. His criticism may not be about you after all. You might even begin to like him…sometimes. On the flip side, if you take more interest in Nick’s passion outside of work, perhaps he will get to know you a little better. And experiences like those also have a tendency to melt away negative feelings.
  2. Try to enjoy yourself. Another way to get along with coworkers is to be someone who lightens the mood around the office. Think back on one of those meetings that no one wanted to be at. Or an office lunch that awkwardly forced multiple departments together. Did someone on the team try to make those situations a little more pleasant? A little more fun? Be that person. Get the ball rolling when it seems like people are struggling to connect. Find a way to be enthusiastic. Happiness is contagious. Embrace it just a little and you’ll find it’s not that hard to have a good time.
  3. Lend a helping hand. Just as you want to make progress in your life, so do your coworkers. Learn about where they want to go. Help them get there. When you help others achieve a goal, even small goals, you create a bond. We all want to feel connected with the work we do. Helping each other reach our goals is the best way to connect and engage with our work every day.
Leaders often push and pull instead of fueling up and steering.

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When you get along with coworkers it makes your days better. Sometimes they’re the ones who get you through a tough day. When your best efforts to stay positive, engaged and hardworking don’t seem to be doing the trick, at least you’re grinding away with some friends.

What leaders can do to help

As leaders, we guide our team. Often the pressure to get things out the door or resolve an emergency issue distracts us. Sometimes we ignore when teammates are having issues. We push and pull instead of fueling up and steering.

Leaders have to set the example for how to get along with coworkers. It’s important to remember each person you lead is also your coworker. Focus on the three steps for improving relationships with coworkers. If you do you will find you don’t have to do quite as much “leading” as before. Instead of relying on position and authority to get things done you will rely more and more on your relationships. Your team will feel valued. And work will be a lot more enjoyable for the whole team.

Do you have any other tips for how to get along with coworkers? Ever seen any of these three tips work in your experience? Have you seen negative relationships because coworkers have ignored these three steps? Let us know in the comments. And stay tuned next week for the final installment of our How to Love Your Job series.

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