3 Questions Your Employees Don’t Ask (But Desperately Want Answered)

3 Questions Your Employees Don’t Ask (But Desperately Want Answered)

3 Questions Your Employees Don’t Ask (But Desperately Want Answered)

Are you the kind of person who cares what people think about you?

Last week I traveled to Wisconsin to visit a client. We’ve done business with them for a long time, but part of our agenda included discussing a new opportunity. The people we’ve historically worked with have moved on and this was the first time I’d personally met the new team. I wanted to make a good impression.

I worried about all the stuff I do when making a pitch. Was I prepared? Did my box of books and handouts make it? How will they feel about them? Are there enough copies for everyone? Should I use slides? If I do, will I be able to get my presentation up on their screen? Should I have packed a tie? Are my pants fitting too tight (unfortunately the answer there is yes). Will we start on time? Will I forget to cover all the important stuff? I had all these questions and a hundred more.

Do you ever get nervous for meetings with your boss? Or with a client or big customer? What kinds of things do you worry about when getting ready for those “high stakes” meetings?

It is not unusual to worry about how people will react to us in situations like this. In fact, what would be weird is if we didn’t worry. That’s because we are genetically hard-wired to want acceptance from others.

How to avoid being a chew toy for a saber tooth tiger

Back when our ancestors were running from wooly mammoths and saber toothed tigers, acceptance wasn’t just trying to feel good about ourselves. Getting excluded from the group was a death sentence. The worst punishment in these times was getting shunned from the tribe.

Because of this we humans developed a strong capacity for cooperation and social connection. A huge part of that capability lies in our ability to read and interpret the (primarily nonverbal) signals from others, and to adjust our behavior in a way to gain acceptance. Some argue (and I agree) that we have taken this need for acceptance way too far. But there is no question that these skills serve us well in situations where cooperation is required. Nowhere is that more true than at work.

“The psychological need that shall not be named”

Remember Voldemort in the Harry Potter stories? He was evil and ever present. Because of that there was a rule that you never mentioned him by name. This need for acceptance is a lot like that. It’s rarely discussed.  In situations where the power balance isn’t equal (and often it’s not) we don’t tip our hands about our anxiety about our need for acceptance. We fear it is a sign of weakness. That’s especially true when we are in the low power position.

Why is it important for leaders to understand this ever-present but never discussed need for acceptance? Because it raises serious questions in the minds of our teammates that are never asked. Instead they make assumptions based on what we say or how we act.

Just like you want to impress and feel acceptance from your boss, your family and your friends, your employees want to impress and feel acceptance from you. They crave it. There are three questions they especially want answered, but they’ll never ask.

Three questions your employees don’t ask, but want to know:

Question One: Do you like me?

It’s so basic. But even the coolest cat in school wants to be liked. Especially by people that matter. And your boss matters. Aside from the obvious fact that your livelihood is in their hands, so is your development as a professional. And a fair amount of your sense of value as a person.

To be clear, I’m not arguing that you should live your life valuing yourself based on what others think about you. You shouldn’t. And the world would be a lot better place if we spent less time worrying about what everyone else thought about us and just concentrated on self-acceptance and being our best selves.

But that’s just not how most of us are wired. So by all means try to teach your teammates (and yourself) self-acceptance. In the meantime you can safely assume they’re not quite there. Which means that they need to know that you like them. That you think they are a good person. That you want them around.

Question Two: Do you think I have what it takes?

This one focuses on the Progress Principle. People want to make progress in their lives. It is another critical driver embedded deep in our sense of self. No one likes the feeling of running in place. Or worse, going backward. Not only do these feelings decrease engagement and increase turnover, they also create resentment. And that seeps its way into the culture of your workplace.

Here’s the key. Remember the third question of Approachable Leaders: Where are you going? Look for ways to set your teammates up for progress each day. And then support them. Encourage them. Celebrate small wins (and the big ones). Let them know you believe in them. That you think they have what it takes.

Question Three: Do you think I’m worth the effort?

Things aren’t always going to go right. We screw up. Despite our best efforts we have days when we take a few steps back. These are times even the most self-accepting person gets on shaky ground. How do you act toward your team when things are in the ditch? Do you encourage and support or do you give up on them?

And here we come back to value and self-worth. Do you think I’m worth the effort?

Think about that question for a moment and how it might effect someone. How does it effect you?

True leadership is about so much more than making sure business gets handled. Yes, that’s technically your job. And you have to make sure your job gets done. But when you step into the role of a leader, something else happens.

Your opinion begins to matter on a deeper level.

How do you let your teammates know that you like them and value them? Are there things you do that might communicate the opposite message?

PS – I’ve had these three questions sitting as a draft blog post for a few months and I forgot where I first saw them. I’ve looked high and low but can’t find the original source. If you happen to have seen these before, could you let me know? I’d like to link to them and thank them for the inspiration.

 

Calm Under Pressure: Leadership Lessons from a Bomb Disposal Expert

Calm Under Pressure: Leadership Lessons from a Bomb Disposal Expert

Calm Under Pressure: Leadership Lessons from a Bomb Disposal Expert

What do a Hindu Priest and Bomb Disposal Expert have in common?

Let me make a guess about you. Your life is hectic. You begin your day with one to-do list, only to find it blown up within minutes after you arrive to work. Some days it feels like the world conspired to throw a bomb into anything you choose to do. Instead of just working your list you now have the job of bomb disposal. And as Batman quips in my favorite line of the 1966 Batman Movie (please don’t judge), “some days, you just can’t get rid of a bomb.”

In a sense this is truly the job of leaders. When things are going according to plan people don’t really need a lot of leadership. But when everything is falling apart around them? When things are messy? People need a leader the most when they don’t know what to do.

You know what I’m talking about. Staying calm under pressure. The poop has hit the fan. Everything grinds to a halt. No one knows how to fix the problem. This is when true leaders step up. Because someone must decide what to do next. Keep things moving forward. Calm everyone down and help them perform under pressure.

This is what Eric Barker wrote about in a recent article where he interviewed an EOD (Explosive Ordinance Disposal) or bomb disposal expert. My favorite quote from the article:

“EOD is the science of vague assumptions based on debatable data taken from inconclusive experiments with instruments of problematic accuracy by persons of questionable mentality.”

Sounds like a great definition of leadership to me. The stakes aren’t always life or death (but they can be). But whether you are disposing of a bomb or helping solve a workplace dilemma your job is to deal with uncertainty – stay calm under pressure – in situations where the stakes are high.

3 Tips to Stay Calm Under Pressure

I know none of us will be defusing a bomb anytime soon (I hope!) But high pressure situations are relative. And you’re probably like me and have found yourself in the heat of the moment, not knowing what to do, but needing to make a decision anyway. Which brings me to the Hindu Priest.

calm under pressure

Neither of these guys are bomb disposal experts.

Last week my Entrepreneur’s Organization Chapter hosted Dandapani for our annual member appreciation event. A big part of his presentation dealt with practical, everyday tips on staying focused and mindful in a turbulent business world. These tips related well to what Barker’s bomb disposal expert lays out for us. The first tip for remaining calm under pressure is to:

1. Avoid “The Rabbit Hole” and Do a Threat Assessment

The rabbit hole is all the what-ifs. This is by far the biggest barrier to forward movement. Because what-ifs are just that. They are hypotheticals. And they can be time-wasters.

The rabbit hole is understandable. We want to make the best decision possible. Especially when the stakes are high. However, we often let the what-ifs take our awareness away from what’s really important.

Dandapani teaches that awareness is like a flashlight that we shine to different areas of our brain. A lot of functional MRI studies show this happening in real time. Is your focus on fear? Your awareness will light up the “fear” area of your brain (which will literally light up on an f-MRI). Is your focus on resources or problem solving? A different area of your brain lights up.

Your best tool for making a comprehensive decision in the heat of the moment is to do a threat assessment. That is, to ask yourself, “What kind of problem is this?”

To do that, you must leverage your experience. If you’ve been a leader for any length of time, you’ve probably encountered a similar problem to the one you’re facing. Even if you’re a new leader, you’ve probably encountered a similar situation outside of work. You just have a different vantage point on the issue. That may even serve you better.

No matter your prior experience, do your best to narrow down the issue at hand. Generalize if you must. Then you can proceed with a clear, focused mindset.

The next tip from Barker’s bomb disposal expert:

2. Emphasize the Positive and Focus on What You Can Control

This is where you get the “calm” in keeping calm under pressure.

When you focus only on the negatives, all the challenges that surround the issue (and you light up the fear and anxiety centers of the brain), you’re more likely to lose your cool. Focusing on challenges outside of your control just reiterates over and over that you aren’t in control.

Take the control back. Find the positives. Focus your awareness light on those things. And not only will you be much more likely keep your cool, you are also more likely to make a decision that will work out in your favor. One of the things Dandapani also taught is that when we bring our awareness to our bigger goals at work and in life, that the path will often reveal itself in ways that were hidden before. Once you focus on what is possible – rather than what isn’t – your brain starts to notice other connections that were invisible before.

Not only that. You will be more optimistic and your team will pick up on that.

Last, but not least, tip 3 for staying calm under pressure is to:

3. Know Your Next Step

Barker writes,

“The secret to calm and focus is simply deciding what you need to do next. That prevents the gap from opening up where the speculation and worrying grows.”

This is so important and brings me back to the point of not trying to force yourself to know exactly how everything will work out. The biggest and boldest strategies happen through baby steps. One thing at a time. The next step is all you need to worry about.

Last week I finished The Lean Startup by Eric Ries. This is a major theme of that (terrific) book: you have no idea how the real-world will react to what your hypothesis about how to respond. Because of that you should focus on the smallest possible step that will provide proof that you can use to inform the next step. He calls this the MVP (Minimum Viable Product). For leaders I’d call it MVL (Minimum Viable Leadership). In other words take the smallest step designed to resolve the current situation (consistent with the long term vision and values of the organization). Then see what is revealed after that experience.

Some may think steps 2 and 3 contradict. I’m supposed to focus on my big picture goals and the small picture next steps at the same time? Yes, but here’s how. The idea is to always know your bigger purpose (what you are striving for) without letting that interfere with taking your next small step (what you can control). Then evaluate your progress based on real-world information (versus what’s going on in your head).

The biggest and boldest strategies happen through baby steps.

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And when you’re not sure what even the next baby step should be?

Head back up to Step 1. Let go of thoughts that aren’t helpful (stop shining your awareness light in the unproductive areas) then move to Step 2 by focusing on your purpose and what you can control. As you do that, the next small steps will show up.

What’s been your craziest experience of trying to remain calm under pressure? How did you handle it? Do you have any tips you can share?

By the way, Eric Barker just released his first book (not surprisingly it’s titled Barking Up the Wrong Tree). Check it out!

Steve Harvey and When Your Open Door Policy Backfires

Steve Harvey and When Your Open Door Policy Backfires

Steve Harvey and When Your Open Door Policy Backfires

Steve Harvey is having another bad PR week.

You’ve probably heard about the recent leadership controversy surrounding Steve Harvey. To be honest, it took me a little by surprise. When you think of the word “approachable” Steve Harvey is the kind of guy you picture. You could say being approachable is a big part of his personal brand.

That’s one of the reasons his recent email to staff probably got so much publicity – it seems so out of character. In case you haven’t had a chance to look at the email, here is a copy:

Ouch.

Before I go further I think it is important to say a couple of things. First, I am grateful that nobody really cares about my internal company emails. I’m sure every single one of us has sent an email in a heated moment that we wish we could take back. Harvey himself said he regrets the way he put things and I’m sure he does. (By the way, want a practical tip to avoid an email like Harvey’s? Scream your emails).

Second, Harvey isn’t wrong about protecting his space. He has every right to private time, especially as he is getting ready to perform in front of millions of viewers (I can’t imagine how stressful that is). The guy is prolific and is involved in a lot of projects. The demands on his time must be enormous. The man just needs to get some sh** done. And he needs less interruptions in order to do it. Okay, I get that. Trust me, I do.

Finally, hindsight is 20/20. What’s important here isn’t how you might rewrite Harvey’s email. Instead what is important is what we as leaders can learn from this very common leadership dilemma: the pull between being available and being effective.

What leaders can learn from Steve Harvey.

Harvey’s email is a reaction to a challenge every leader faces. We want to be approachable. That means being available to our teammates when they need us. And since we never know when they’ll need us we often will say our door is always open. That “open door policy” is what Steve Harvey was “adjusting” in his email.

When you say your door is open you are inviting interruptions. Some days nobody interrupts. Other days it feels like every minute is a new interruption. Those days can get really frustrating. How should we respond as leaders?

Lesson 1: Managing the Exception

Your teammates have different needs. Some will almost never interrupt you. You may have to seek these teammates out because they are so respectful of your time. Others don’t have any problem coming to you if they have an issue or concern. Finally, a few people will dominate your time if you let them. They have too little respect for your time (and perhaps too little work to do).

It was this last group Harvey was dealing with. He used his email to “manage the exception.” He made a blanket announcement even though later he acknowledged that there were just a few people he felt were abusing the open door. Using blanket policies to manage outlier situations (or people) is usually a bad idea.

Instead of making a blanket policy, manage the individual offender. Two reasons. First, the individual offender has already shown they probably aren’t a rule or convention follower. They’ll be the first to ignore or test the boundaries of your policy, putting you right back where you started. Second, when you make the blanket announcement (especially if you do it as forcefully as Harvey did here) you end up pushing away all of the people who weren’t a problem in the first place. That’s a lose-lose solution.

Lesson 2: Ask for Advice

Harvey’s email was probably written in anger or frustration. It is a pronouncement. It makes the villain assumption (people are interrupting for their own selfish reasons). It is easy to say “don’t send emails when you’re angry” but that can be hard to do without a change in mindset. Here is a “hack” that can get you in a better frame of mind: before deciding on a change in practice explain the problem and ask the team for advice.

One of the reasons we react negatively to Harvey’s email is that it smacks with power distance. It is news not just because Harvey is popular, but because it is out of character. The more approachable way is to present the situation as a request for advice. This completely changes the power dynamic.

Asking for advice flips the power equation. It puts the teammates in the low power position into a higher power situation. When you do this not only do you not make the newspapers, but the folks who are involved in creating the problem will co-create the solution. They are much more likely to follow through on a set of boundaries they set in the first place. Properly asserting your power as a leader is paradoxical. For more on the why behind that, check out last week’s post: Cultivate Power: 6 Tips for Giving Control Back to Your Team.

Lesson 3: Look for Balance

As leaders, we need time to ourselves. For Steve Harvey, I’m sure a big part of that is getting “in the zone” as a TV personality. His request to be left alone in his makeup chair and dressing room seems entirely reasonable. Even for us non-TV stars, we still need time to ourselves to do our work.

Each of us has “deep work” that helps us move our business and our teams forward. That work can’t be done with constant interruptions. We need alone time to do all this. Personally, I get most of my “deep work” done after everyone leaves the office. Or late at night when I should be sleeping. But a big part of that has to do with the nature of my work. I communicate a lot throughout the day. Not only with my team, but also with our customers.

Still, sometimes I have work that needs done at 11AM and I need no interruptions in order to get them done. You know what I do? I shut the door.

Shocking I know. How can you have an effective open door policy if you shut the door? Well, to me, the key to having an effective open door policy is to have a clear distinction between when I’m available and when I’m not. After all, this is the basic premise, isn’t it? When my door is open, sure pop in. When it’s closed, do me a favor and make sure it’s pressing first. I still get knocks when my door is closed. And when I do, the urgency is usually understandable. However, I get less interruptions because my team knows my door will be open again. If it can wait, they wait.

This brings me to another challenge leaders face with their open door policies.

Lesson 4: Genchi Genbutsu

One of the things that can make open door policies frustrating is getting interrupted by every little thing. How can you create an environment where the interruptions you get are worth it? Where employees feel comfortable coming to you but where your availability doesn’t get taken advantage of?

Take a lesson from the lean movement. Get out of your office and go to where the work is happening. This is called Genchi Genbutsu and translated it means “actual place” or “actual thing.” Create a regular space and opportunity for team members to speak with you about less urgent items. Do this by having a presence around the office.

Make time to walk around and check in with your team on their turf.

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Make time to walk around. Check in with your team on their turf. This not only helps curb the power paradox (they don’t always have to come to you). It also creates a time where you are available to your team (for questions or light banter) on your terms.

Incorporate these 4 lessons into your list of leadership habits and it will help balance out your open door policy. When your door is open, you’re available. By walking around you reduce less important interruptions. And people will (mostly) respect when the door is closed.

What’s your experience with open door policies? How well has it worked for you in the past? Did you find that it got taken advantage of? What are some tips you could share that help mitigate the pros and cons?

Cultivate Power: 6 Tips for Giving Control Back to Your Team

Cultivate Power: 6 Tips for Giving Control Back to Your Team

Cultivate Power: 6 Tips for Giving Control Back to Your Team

The Power Dynamic

I just took my family to see Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. It was nearly as much fun as Volume 1, which is saying a lot. Sequels are awfully hard to pull off – especially when you are doing an encore of such a genre-busting hit. It was really fun. Although I am worried about how Stan Lee is going to get home… (watch the credits to the end if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

The central theme of Guardians Volume 2 (don’t worry, no spoilers) is the same as Volume 1: one individual seeks unlimited power over the universe. But that character can’t gain unlimited power without help. And in the end this lust for power undoes the villain. Sure, it’s a pretty tired formula. But it’s a message that bears repeating, because it is one we leaders struggle with every single day.

Leaders all struggle with this exact same power dynamic. The only way for us to truly accomplish our goals is if our teams feel powerful too. Otherwise they won’t feel like helping you (they’ll be disengaged). Or worse, they’ll actively try to foil your plans (those are the actively disengaged).

Now if your plans are for domination of the universe I suppose this paradox is a good thing. But if your plans are the more positive kind this paradox is a real problem. You want a team of people who feel that they have control over their work. Their development. Their contribution to the company’s mission. You want this. I can guarantee it. That is because I know no leader wants the opposite:

Employees who experience stress, anxiety, shame, and poor health.

These are all signs of powerlessness.

The more you take away an employee’s control over her work – the more you micro-manage – the less she gives. The less she cares. Because at that point her work is no longer a reflection of her own capabilities to create something of value. It’s about giving you what you want. Because you’re the one in charge. You have the power. And before you know it, that employee is disengaged. She experiences stress when you want her to experience excitement. She experiences shame when you want her to experience development feedback.

This power dynamic isn’t just important at work. I recently read an article in Berkeley’s Greater Good magazine on power in education. It explains why we should want students to take control over their own education. And how to be the kind of teacher (or leader) who uses his position of power to create a sense of power in others.

Be the kind of leader who uses your position of power to cultivate power in others.

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6 Tips for Giving Control Back to Your Team

Use a strengths-based approach. 

This is about more than just putting a positive spin on things when a team member messes up. Let’s face it, sometimes you just can’t do that. But when things go wrong you want to focus on how to improve in the future. This conversation should not be about blame and looking backward. Instead it should be focused on applying what this person does well in the future. How do you communicate with your team on a daily basis? Shine a light on your team’s strengths and they will continue to develop them on their own. They will feel valuable and capable. You want an innovative organization? There’s your first step.

Identify your biases. 

“Any biases we harbor against groups of [people] can manifest in our behavior, giving some [team members] more power and opportunities than others.” The tricky part here though is that biases are often unconscious. You may have a hard time recognizing them in yourself. Our latest Learn and Lead Huddle Module asks leaders to think about the “triggers” that can send us down the wrong path. Knowing that you can be triggered without knowing it leaves you with two options. Option one: some serious soul searching. Option two: allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to ask for help recognizing your biases. Ask your team for feedback and encourage them to be brutally honest. If you’re lucky (and approachable) you’ll have at least one or two who will help you develop.

Be a warm demander. 

We just wrote a whole article on the benefits of leader warmth. Check that out here. But this goes hand-in-hand with addressing your biases. Your biases trigger the “Villain Assumption” with your team. You never want that. You want to hold high positive expectations for all of your team members. They feel it when you don’t. That’s a recipe for lower engagement and lower quality work. Simply put, the assumptions you make about your team matter. Read our most recent article on the Hero Assumption here.

Create individualized learning experiences. 

You do this by getting to know your team members. What are their interests? Where do they see themselves going? How would they like to develop professionally? Then, ask yourself, what can I do to help them get there? Not only does this further encourage them to take control of their own development. It also shows that you care. That you don’t see him or her as a cog in the machine. Each member of your team brings something special. It’s a shame if you neglect to notice and lose something really rare in the process.

Foster ongoing and active reflection. 

Most of us know when we’re not meeting our own expectations. We feel it in our gut. And then we decide how much it really matters. Be the kind of leader that creates opportunities for and encourages self-assessment. Do that, and your team will hold themselves accountable. They will take more control over their own quality of work. And you will begin to experience the power paradox in reverse – the less you exert control (or power) the better your team performs.

Focus on modeling and practicing the “Big Five.” 

Dacher Keltner, the founding director of Greater Good, wrote a book called The Power Paradox. In it, he outlines five social tendencies that encourage power in others. After all, he says, “enduring power comes from a focus on others.” Here they are. They may surprise you.

  1. Enthusiasm. There’s much to be said about creating a fun and energetic environment. If you are excited about the work you and your team are doing, it will radiate off of you and onto them.
  2. Kindness. People work harder for those they like. Plain and simple. This is another reason to get to know your team members. Research shows that “it’s easier to be kind to people we know well than to those outside our immediate social circle.”
  3. Focus. Have an open conversation with all members of your team about your values and goal for the year. And then keep those commitments and expectations front and center. When you lose focus on a goal (or even when you appear to lose focus), they will lose focus. They will think it doesn’t actually matter that much. This happens all the time.
  4. Calmness. Most people don’t enjoy working under pressure. Reduce stress and increase quality work by never being the reason everything is an emergency.
  5. Openness. Everyone works better together when they are more in tune with each other’s thoughts and feelings. Lead by example. Encourage the sharing of ideas – good or bad. Not only will people gain confidence in their own ideas. You will have created an environment where your team knows each other that much better. Where they feel comfortable speaking up when they need.

How would you describe the power dynamic at your work place? How about among your team? Do you think that they feel in control of their work? Are you too biased to tell – who can you ask for candid feedback?

Leader Warmth: Warmth Eats Competence For Breakfast

Leader Warmth: Warmth Eats Competence For Breakfast

Leader Warmth: Warmth Eats Competence For Breakfast

“Warmth eats competence for breakfast.”

Last week I taught our Approachability Workshop to a great group of leaders. As always we began the workshop with our “everyday leaders” exercise. Each attendee shares a little about an influential leader in their lives.

This is one of my favorite parts of the workshop, because I get to hear so many great stories about the impact leaders make in the lives of those they lead. It’s always interesting to hear the similarities between these top leaders. One trait they often share is warmth.

Loran Nordgren, an associate professor of management and organizations at the Kellogg School, thinks warmth is the differentiating factor for great leadership. It’s what allows one leader to soar, while another looks behind to see no one is following.

What’s makes leader warmth so great?

A Zenger Folkman study looked at over 50,000 managers. It found that “a leader’s overall effectiveness is predicted more by warmth than competence.” Furthermore,

“If you’re seen as low-warmth, you have something like a 1-in-2000 chance to make the top quartile of effectiveness as a leader.”

That seems crazy, I know. You’d think the ability to perform the job effectively is more important than building strong relationships. But there is a saying (often mistakenly attributed to Peter Drucker) that culture eats strategy for breakfast. When it comes to leadership, warmth eats competence for breakfast.

The best leaders are those who “learn to convey high competence and high warmth,” Nordgren says. “You always need both.”

I could not agree more.

“Warmth eats competence for breakfast.”

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The problem is most leaders obtain their leadership position due to their competence and performance. Warmth is rarely considered, and even when considered is almost never a deal-breaker. After the promotion occurs, once again the priority is always on competence and rarely on warmth.

This is why so many leaders lack warmth. We often must develop this behavior. But how?

How to cultivate warmth

Nordgren writes that one of the most important things to remember regarding warmth is that it is “highly context dependent.”

“It means different things across different organizations and cultures…So part of the challenge is understanding how to convey it respectfully wherever you go.”

If you want to cultivate more warmth among your team, the first step is to know your team better. Each team member has a unique relationship with you. Pay close attention to each relationship and you will begin to recognize moments and actions to increase warmth.

I know that may sound a little complicated. A little labor intensive. It may even turn you off to this whole “warmth” thing. (If that’s the case, I can guarantee you will find value in the following exercise).

Start by creating the Right Space.

Do you think you could exercise your “warmth” muscles better than you do now? Then you want to work on your “curb appeal” or what I call creating the Right Space. You can learn a lot more about this in The Approachability Playbook. But here are a few quick tips to get you started (these come from our Right Space Tool, which is available in our Approachable Leadership Toolkit).

There are 4 elements involved with creating the Right Space:
  1. Physical Space (the space surrounding you, your office)
    • Is the physical space inviting and warm?
    • Is there a comfortable place to sit?
    • Are there any obstacles between you and your visitor? (Can they see you through your computer?)
  2. Behavior (check your nonverbal behavior and your reactions)
    • Are you smiling? Do you appear pleased to see them or annoyed that you’ve been interrupted?
    • Are you asking open-ended questions? Encouraging the conversation instead of trying to wrap it up?
    • Are you doing more than half the talking? Shut up.
  3. Availability (Can people get to you when they need you?)
    • How often are you around?
    • Do you welcome interruptions?
    • Is there a convenient way to schedule time on your calendar?
  4. Presence (Are you really there?)
    • Are you giving your visitor your full attention? Or are you checking your email at the same time?
    • Do you close the door to create more privacy when the discussion calls for it?
    • How often do you try to force a solution? Don’t problem-solve unless you’re invited to.

How’s your curb appeal? Take a little time to assess your own physical space, behavior, availability and presence. Do you see any room to improve? Of the 4 areas of Right Space, where do you need to improve the most? Take a little time this week to work on balancing your warmth with your competence.

Crew Resource Management and United Flight 173

Crew Resource Management and United Flight 173

Crew Resource Management and United Flight 173

Don’t Mess With Mother Nature

Last week I continued my hike of the Ozark Highlands Trail. It was a beautiful day for a hike and my good friend Mike and I hit the trail planning on a nice 9-miler. At that point we’d be met by my wife and daughter on a forest road near a creek crossing. Or at least that was the plan.

At about mile 7 Mike and I got to see a massive display of why you don’t mess with Mother Nature. We didn’t realize that an F-1 tornado had ripped through this section of the Ozark National Forest just a week before our hike. It threw massive trees (some of the root balls were taller than me) across the trail. Some were pulled up from the roots while others were snapped like toothpicks 40 feet above our heads.

Needless to say we hadn’t planned on having to leave the trail every few hundred yards over what we thought would be our last 2 miles. Our pace slowed to a crawl. When we finally crossed Greasy Creek and arrived at the rendezvous point we realized our hike wouldn’t end there. Trees also blocked forest road access to this remote part of the forest. Our 9-miler just turned into a 15-miler.

While we weren’t aware of the mayhem on the trail, Mike and I quickly grabbed the map and talked through our plan. He was going to be out of water soon but I always travel with a water filter so when we ran out of water we were able to refill. I was slowing down so we agreed he’d hike ahead the last two miles. We finally made it to Chancel Campground as the sun started to set, tired but with a great story to tell.

Things could have been a LOT worse. I’ve had a few run-ins with rattlesnakes on this trail and even though we spent a lot of time off the beaten path we didn’t see any of those guys. More important, we weren’t hiking a week earlier during a tornado!

What’s Your Worst Case Scenario?

In order to be safe on the trail you have to think about your worst case scenario. But what if something went wrong at your workplace? What’s the worst that could happen? You lose a lucrative customer? Your brand gets a black mark? You have to fire a beloved employee? Or maybe someone dies?

Worst case scenarios are different for all of us. But regardless, no one wants to find themselves there. If you find yourself in a bad situation – like Mike and I did in the woods – good communication is critical. Poor communication can turn a bad situation into a crisis.

When things go bad at work our teams look to us for answers. As leaders we often feel it is our duty to solve the problem. Unfortunately we often create the communication problems that make a bad situation a worst case. Many times we get so fixated on solving the problem in front of us that we ignore crucial information from our teams. Do that and situations spiral out of control.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this leadership paradox lately. Not just because of the hike, but because I ran across another plane crash that could have easily been solved if the captain had been a more approachable leader.

United Flight 173

In 1978. United Flight 173 was headed to Portland International Airport when the crew discovered a landing gear problem. During the next hour, the captain focused entirely on troubleshooting the landing gear. Meanwhile, he ignored repeated warnings from his crew members that fuel levels were dwindling. (See a reenactment in this short Youtube video).

It wasn’t until the engines started going out that the captain started listening to his crew and acknowledged their dire situation. It was too late. United Flight 173 was forced to land in a Portland neighborhood.

Ten people died.

The NTSB investigator who inspected the crash noted several similarities between United Flight 173 and the Tenerife Airport Disaster that killed 583 people in 1977. Also, the Eastern Airlines Flight 401 that killed 101 people in 1972.

Out of these disasters, crew resource management (also known as cockpit resources management) was born.

What is Crew Resource Management?

“CRM can be defined as a management system which makes optimum use of all available resources—equipment, procedures and people—to promote safety and enhance the efficiency of operations…The primary goal of CRM is enhanced situational awareness, self awareness, leadership, assertiveness, decision making, flexibility, adaptability, event and mission analysis, and communication. Specifically, CRM aims to foster a climate or culture where authority may be respectfully questioned.”

I want to point out one particular phrase here that I think is very important.

“CRM aims to foster a climate or culture where authority may be respectfully questioned.”

This is the primary purpose behind Crew Resource Management training. It’s also foundational to Approachable Leadership.

Power Distance is a Huge Problem

It’s hard for people to speak honestly with their boss. It just is. And the more hierarchical the structure and culture of your facility, the more difficult this becomes. Especially when there is disagreement.

Rarely will you find an employee who feels so comfortable and secure with her relationship with you and her value in the organization that she will openly disagree with you. If you do have someone like that on your team you’ve probably done a lot to create that relationship. You have made her feel so valuable that she can speak freely. You have invested in a real relationship so that the whole dynamic isn’t founded on “this guy can fire me.”

Maybe you like the power dynamic. The day is a lot less stressful if everyone just agrees with you. Treats you with respect. I get it. You’ve probably earned it. But when the chips are down I guarantee you’ll like staying out of the danger zone even better. And if your team doesn’t feel safe challenging you when things are going smooth they won’t do it when it really counts. That’s the fast lane to a worst case scenario.

If your team doesn’t feel safe challenging you when things are smooth they won’t when it counts.

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But having an employee who isn’t afraid to speak up is just the first piece of the puzzle. You have to be ready and willing to listen.

A Tip to Bridge the Gap

One of the things I try to do is to ask what people think before I say what I think. This is a challenge for me and might be for you too. Before I blurt out my answer I try to catch myself and say, “You know, I can see a couple of ways to handle this, but I’m not sure. What do you think?”

This doesn’t just invite my team to speak up. It shows vulnerability on my end. (I definitely don’t have all the answers.) And it builds confidence on their end. Let’s be honest. The less you speak, the more likely your team will speak up. I want a team that speaks up. Even if it means telling me things I don’t always want to hear.

When was the last time bad communication got you in a jam? How much of that was your employee feeling uncertain, but afraid to speak up? Not sure? Now there’s a place to start.

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