The way you treat employees directly impacts their quality of work.
People work harder for approachable leaders. It’s a proven way to get better business results. Want to know a related way you treat employees that is just as important? What people believe they can do is a critical factor in performance. This belief is tied directly to their self-concept. Put simply: Winners win.
Recent research from Harvard Business School confirms that, “by activating people’s best-self concepts and highlighting examples of them making extraordinary contributions, we find positive changes in their physiology, creative problem solving, performance under pressure, and social relationships.”
Pretty solid results. So how can you, as a leader, play a part in activating your employees’ “best-self concepts?”
- You remind them of what they are capable of;
- You tell them when they’ve done a good job (or a great job);
- You show them that you trust their ability to take the reigns;
- You give them bigger projects; and, most important,
- You do not micromanage.
This idea of “best-self activation” is a take on the Pygmalion research we point to in our Approachable Leadership workshop. Best-self activation says that our assumptions about ourselves increase our performance. The Pygmalion effect focuses more on how other’s assumptions about us affect our performance. Specifically, that “higher expectations lead to an increase in performance.”
This understanding shows up in the first question of our “3 Questions Tool.” The question we encourage leaders to ask is:
“Do you have what you need?”
When you ask someone if they have what they need you are making one very important assumption: if they had everything they need they would perform great work. Further, if someone is having a performance problem coming at the challenge from this angle tells the person you know this isn’t a personal failure. You’re letting them know you believe in them, that they do amazing work, and that the only thing that could explain any other result is a resource problem.
The other way to think about this is: Nobody wakes up hoping to do a crappy job. If you believe this about every one of your employees you’ll see great changes in behavior.
This is huge. Many leaders can get caught up in the assumption that an employee who is having problems is just a “bad apple.” I’ve caught myself doing this from time to time in my leadership career. But when I look back on those times, I realize that many times my assumption led to me behaving in a distrustful and micromanaging way. Not surprisingly, that kind of behavior builds up resentment and feeds the problems I’m concerned about. Kind of a dumb way to get people performing their best, huh?
What I’ve had to realize on my own journey is that being more approachable means being more proactive. I can’t just assume everyone has everything they need. As leaders, we have a responsibility to ask. Not just once a year or once a quarter – all the time, as a regular conversation.
I know this sounds like a tall order, just another thing to add to your plate. It may seem time consuming and low-reward. But in the end this is your “one thing” as a leader. The other thing you’ll notice is once you start the conversation and follow up a few times the conversation will continue without extra effort. You won’t always have to touch base with everyone. People will start coming to you.
When people feel like winners they win. Problem is in today’s workplace a lot of us don’t feel like winners. That is the number one communication job of leaders – remind people they are winners. Then stand back and watch them win.
Do you have any examples of times your belief in someone held them back? How about times that your belief in someone helped them to perform in ways they didn’t even think possible? Has anyone’s belief in you ever torn you down or raised you up? Share your story with us on LinkedIn or Twitter by clicking one of the buttons below. Be sure to use #ApproachabLeleadership.
![[Just Released] Improve Your Leaders in 2016!](https://approachableleadership.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/white_paper_promo_2B.png)
Today we released our new eBook The ROI of Approachable Leaders: 4 Simple Tools to Solve the Toughest Management Challenges of 2016. If you’ve followed Approachable Leadership over the last two years you probably don’t need to hear more than that. You can save yourself two minutes and just download your copy now:
Not sure if The ROI of Approachable Leaders is for you? You may not need the eBook if:
- Your company has no problems with turnover or retaining great talent;
- Your employees show up every day enthusiastic, very cooperative and willing to pitch in and always go “above and beyond” at work;
- You have no problem getting employees to try new things or go along with change efforts;
- Everyone is calm and there is little stress or conflict at work;
- The relationships between your leaders and those they lead could not be better!
Still reading? Then you probably don’t want to know how much turnover, lack of enthusiasm and cooperation, and workplace stress costs your company. We call these the “Four Horsemen” of the 2016 economy. Workplace stress costs U.S. companies over $300 billion each year in increased medical costs and lost time. Turnover? $11 billion.
Our eBook outlines brand new research showing that one leader behavior – approachability – substantially improves all four of these areas. Employees of approachable leaders are:
- 89% happier and less stressed at work;
- 88% more willing to go “above and beyond” in their work;
- 72% less likely to quit their jobs.
We don’t just give you the data. We also give you 4 tools (including blank templates) you can start using to develop your leaders the minute you download the book. These “ready to use” tools will help your leaders recognize approachable (and unapproachable) behavior, show them how to grow better relationships with coworkers, and teach them to ask better questions. Download your copy now.
Most important strengths of a leader – charisma or individual consideration?
A recent study looked at two of the most admired strengths of a leader – charisma and individual consideration. You may be surprised which one came out on top.
Have you ever gotten a call like this: “All hell is breaking loose here, what should we do?”
I won’t say I love to get that call, but it feels good to step up and handle a situation where a client, coworker or consultant is feeling overwhelmed. Leaders are supposed to be strong, charismatic and have their act together. Never let them see you sweat, right? I’ll admit, I consider it one of my strengths – keeping cool under pressure, calm during the storm.
The study looked at which leadership trait was more likely to support emotional expression at work. Emotional expression is not just about how individuals express their own emotions. It also has to do with how they influence or experience the emotions of others. This is important in the work environment for at least two reasons.
Reason One: You interact with your employees (and they interact with each other).
Reason Two: Your employees interact with your customers.
The fact is “emotions exert an incredibly powerful force on human behavior.” According to Psychology Today, emotions are also associated with “temperament, personality, mood, and motivation.” As the leader of my own small business, I can assure you these are all areas I want my team members (not to mention myself) to have balance.
Which of the strengths of leadership increased emotional expression? Individual consideration. Leadership charisma actually reduced expression of emotions.
An interesting find, isn’t it? One would think that a leader with great personal charm would naturally develop stronger relationships with her employees. I think the kicker here is something our Approachable Leadership Team has been touching on for a while. Leadership isn’t about the leader. It’s about the individuals who work for the leaders.
Of course folks enjoy energy and charm. But charisma isn’t something most people learn. I’m not saying it can’t be developed, but it is more about your own self-confidence and less about your people. To develop a relationship with an individual is a different kind of effort. As a leader, it shows that you care.
Maybe you’re a charismatic leader who is good at getting people to do what you want. But when you look at your relationships with employees or business partners do you feel like something’s missing? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. The first step to developing these relationship is to be more approachable.
Here are three ways you can start being more approachable today:
- Tone down the charm a bit and get real. Say what is really on your mind, not what the “got it together” leader would say.
- Let them see that you’re not as put together as you come off. Go ahead and let them see you sweat.
- Stop worrying so much about what kind of impression you make. Worry instead about how others are doing. Ask them. Is there anything you can do to make their work better?
Do you have any experience with charismatic versus leaders who give individual consideration? Which side of the scale do you feel is your natural place? Have you seen charismatic leaders with less than stellar work relationships?
We’d love to hear from you. Share your thoughts on LinkedIn or Twitter by clicking one of the boxes below the post. Be sure to use #ApproachableLeadership
After Phil gave CUE’s Fall 2015 Conference attendees a taste of approachability with the Approachable Leadership Workshop, the employee relations organization is officially a believer!
Click here to read CUE, Inc.’s shoutout to Phil or here if you are interested in attending the next AL Workshop (scheduled February 23rd and 24th in Tulsa and OKC).
Congratulations, you did it! You survived another holiday season! Isn’t it exhausting?
Don’t get me wrong. I love down time with my family. I got to play some Lego and X-Box with my kid (now that she’s getting older her toys are getting a LOT more fun). We got in some skiing and saw Star Wars (twice). Hard to beat that.
But the holidays can also be stressful. There’s the travel. If your family is anything like mine you have multiple meals that could feed small countries (I wasn’t a very good caveman this year). Then there is the stress of small talk.
I’m a natural talker. But when your brain is fuzzy from turkey, pie and whatever that jello-stuff is, it can sometimes be hard to keep the conversation going, especially with your extended family. Or kids (okay, and adults) with their eyes glued to a screen.
Leaders face this same challenge all year round. These days small talk is a lost art. But if you plan on being an approachable leader it is a critical leadership skill.
Your employees aren’t that different from your teenage nephew or your cousin’s husband. They hope for a “scripted” exchange (“wow, how about all this rain?”) and to avoid an actual conversation. Conversation can be awkward and hard, especially if it isn’t natural for you.
That’s why I was excited when I recently ran across an article with some great advice for turning small talk into a conversation. They make 3 suggestions I thought were valuable for leaders.
Suggestion 1: Share Small Details Until One Connects
During “small talk” you’ll be asked some variation of “what do you do?” and “how are you doing?” Any time someone asks one of these questions you have a choice. You can give the “scripted” answer (“I’m a lawyer” or “I’m doing good”) or you can give a little detail or story to build on the typical answer. For example, “My weekend was good but I’m a little bleary eyed. My wife and I had a Star Wars marathon to get ready for Episode 7.” The scripted response stops the conversation in its tracks. The second reveals a little about yourself. It makes an offer to the other person to connect with that detail. If that detail doesn’t spark some conversation try another until you find one that sticks.
This is similar to what we teach about the Approachability Window in the Approachable Leadership Workshop. You open your window and grow a relationship by revealing details about yourself in your “hidden” area.
Suggestion 2: Learn to Ask Relevant Questions
Often when there is a lull in a conversation we fill the space with chitchat about ourselves. Psychology Today suggests to “listen first, talk second.” Show a genuine interest and let the other person take the reins. If you ask the right questions, conversation will flow naturally.
The Three Questions of Approachable Leaders is a good starting point. You might want to tailor them a bit, but variations of the “where are you going” question are great conversation starters. You could try:
- What are you working on that’s exciting?
- Do you have anything interesting planned in the next few months?
- How are you progressing on your project?
- Have you gone anywhere fun recently?
Suggestion 3: Arm Yourself with Relevant Topics
Putting a small effort into preparing for a conversation can work wonders. Ask your employee about their kid’s Christmas program or about their house search. Not only will they be much more enthusiastic to respond than if you simply throw out a “how’s it going?” they will be impressed that you remembered and cared to ask.
This is also a great place to ask variations of the “Do you have what you need?” or “What would make work better” Questions of Approachable Leaders.
Suggestion 4: Respond to “What Do You Do?” with Something You Actually Did
In the article this more refers to the “what do you do for a living or for fun” question. The point I want to make is any time you are asked a conversational question, give detail. When people ask questions like this, they are putting themselves out there (especially when they’re asking this kind of question to their boss). Don’t dismiss that effort or devalue their interest. Take it as a freebee and jump on it.
What are YOUR suggestions for mastering small talk? Do you have any “go-to” questions that you like to ask? Share your answer on Twitter, LinkedIn, or your social network of choice by clicking one of the share buttons below.
There’s been an awakening. Have you felt it? The Dark side, and the Light.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens hits theaters this weekend in one of the most anticipated movie events of all time. I personally cannot wait. I don’t know about you, but I think this whole Star Wars thing just might catch on!
I’ll never forget going to the first Star Wars movie in 1977 (okay, technically it was the fourth Star Wars, but you know what I mean). My grandmother’s review: “It had a lot of Zoom, Zoom, Zoom!” But like any great story, Star Wars is a tale much bigger than the Zoom-Zoom. At its core it is a story about human nature. Our dark side and our light side.
As leaders we often must deal with these two aspects of our nature. Consider:
“All your relationships are both cooperative and competitive.”
Adam Galinsky, a Columbia business school professor, and Maurice Schweitzer, professor at Wharton, lay out this paradox in their recent book Friend & Foe: When to Cooperate, When to Compete, and How to Succeed at Both.
One of my favorite philosophers (okay, not technically a philosopher), Neil Young, said this:
“The same thing that makes you live can kill you in the end.”
These are two sides of the same perplexing coin of how to live a successful and fulfilling life. In each of us there is dark and light.
Humans are naturally competitive. It’s built into our DNA and a big key to the survival of our species. It motivates us and drives personal and professional improvement. However, it is also the source of envy and other negative emotions like taking pleasure in someone else’s pain or misfortune. You know the feeling. Something bad happens to a competitor and you’re happy, Or something good happens to a coworker, a friend. or a family member You’re happy of course, but you also feel a twinge of resentment.
Our best selves regret these reactions, but they are part of our nature. As leaders we need to understand our competitive nature. In many cases this competitiveness is an important part of winning at work, but like Neil Young says, you can get too much of a good thing. If competition becomes the driving force among a group it can destroy a culture. (See, Vader, Darth).
The good news is that there is another, equally important trait in humans: cooperation. Once again, this is a vital trait for humans and also hard-wired into our DNA.Cooperation is the “yang” to the competitive “yin” in our nature, but again you can get too much of a good thing. Like competition, there is also a dark side to cooperation. Prioritizing cooperation over everything else leads to groupthink, harmful decisions, and lack of authenticity, (See Binks, Jar Jar).
Galinsky and Schweitzer teach us to embrace both sides of our nature. We need to know when to compete and when to cooperate. They offer some great practical advice to leaders about how to create an environment that balances cooperation with competition. Not surprisingly, the suggestions are very approachable.
“People who inspire the most trust are those who exhibit two distinct traits: warmth and competence.”
Fear is a big reason people experience the negative emotions associated with the “dark side” of competition and cooperation. This fear is often caused by a power-distance gap between a leader and those they lead. A leader must therefore build trust by shrinking that gap. Most leaders are normally pretty strong in the competence area. Warmth, on the other hand, is a struggle for many. One bit of advice from the professors: “Screw up a little.” People are more approachable when they don’t seem perfect. (See Solo, Han).
“Just asking people, ‘Is this a good time to talk?’ [increases] compliance with requests.”
This is a big one. As leaders, we have a lot on our plates. But so do our employees. Do your best not to act like all you should have to do is point your finger and say, “Go here;” “Do this;” “Make that.” (See Palpatine, Emperor). Show consideration for others. If you aren’t a Jedi Master (wait a minute, those were the droids I’m looking for) then try the “magic” words: Hello, Please and Thank You.
“Asking for advice is a particularly effective mechanism to get other people to take your perspective as well.”
Asking employees for their advice shows that you value and respect their point of view. Think about change efforts or times when you’ve made a decision your employees didn’t agree with and showed it. Most of the time, their lack of enthusiasm or unwillingness to comply has more to do with perspective (yours and their’s) than anything else. Invite them into the conversation and get their ideas. Not only does this give your employees a better perspective, it often forces you to confront situations you hadn’t anticipated. In the end you will end up with a more workable solution. Even if your plan isn’t perfect, your employees are much more likely to course correct and try to make something work if they are a part of the decision. Sometimes, people just need to be acknowledged.
None of this is easy. Like Luke and Anakin Skywalker, we each struggle sometimes with our light and dark nature. We must compete and cooperate. We must balance the two against each other, and not rely too much on either. It’s hard. But if it were easy they wouldn’t write epic stories about it. So be approachable, and may the force be with you!
