Why You Shouldn’t Seek Perfection From Your Team

Why You Shouldn’t Seek Perfection From Your Team

Sure, perfection is great. But what does it cost you?

Think about the last lesson you learned.

No. Not that that one. I’m talking about the one you really learned – the hard way. What happened? Did it change you?

Apply that sort of logic to your employees, your business. We learn best from our mistakes. Our most notable moments of growth stem from our failures.

Forbes has this group called The MPW Insiders where influential people provide answers to important business questions. A couple weeks ago, the question was: How do you embrace imperfection as part of professional development? Rachel Mendelowitz, managing partner at McChrystal Group, was the influential person of the day. Here’s her take.

“In order to learn in a complex environment, trial and error is not only inevitable, it is actually the only effective way to navigate through uncertainty. Although it is incredibly uncomfortable, exposing and acknowledging when we fall short on performance is actually the very thing that drives higher performance.”

Her key ingredient to creating an environment where team members feel comfortable enough to bring their mess-ups to light is vulnerability.

“Leaders who foster an environment of vulnerability know that they aren’t creating weakness. Quite the opposite – they challenge people to stretch themselves, demand interpersonal courage, take on new challenges, and model outsized poise and resilience in the face of adversity.

Most importantly, being vulnerable at work is a two-way street – it requires daring on the part of the employee trying something new, and support on the part of the manager in responding to this attempt, when it succeeds and especially when it fails.”

Mendelowitz provides 5 tips to build this sort of vulnerability.

  1. Encourage ‘stupid’ questions. I love this one. Another way to put this is there is no such thing as a stupid question. A question that may seem obvious to you as the leader (because you have more information or a broader strategic perspective) won’t be obvious to others. You may have a thing (or things) to learn from these questions. Mendelowitz says, “seemingly ‘stupid’ questions can actually highlight where you have failed as a leader to provide direction or enough emphasis.” And if your perspective is built on wrong assumptions, what you may learn is that you are dead wrong.
  2. Offer to help without judgment. If you make employees feel bad for coming to you for help, they simply won’t do it. And while you’re free from the interruption, your employees are likely spending numerous unnecessary hours “muscling through problems” just so they don’t have to deal with condescension. Learn to welcome the knocks on the door, even when they are inconvenient.
  3. Enable creative thinking. When someone suggests a new idea, don’t shut it down just because you “know” it won’t work. Maybe it won’t. But let the guy or gal who is excited about the idea experiment with it. “‘Waste’ a little time entertaining new thinking.” Again, this isn’t just to patronize or let people fail. These experiments are great learning opportunities and could reveal a new way of doing things you never could walking the path you “know” works.
  4. Try new things, even if they fail. This one builds off of number 3 and is a foundation to creating vulnerability. Take new ideas for a ride, even if you feel pretty strongly that you’re going to run out of gas. “Every organization seeks to be a ‘learning organization’, but we learn through both success and, more effectively, through failure.”
  5. Don’t be so quick to offer your perspective. This is great advice – not only when it comes to creating a creative environment, but also as an empathy tool. Your people don’t want you to solve their problems for them. They just want to feel supported and that you understand where they’re at. Let people figure stuff out on their own. “Your knowledge is not a renewable resource for your employees; their own ability to learn and develop is what will pay dividends.”

These are 5 solid pieces of advice. I’d like to add one more.

The best way to create an environment where people feel comfortable being vulnerable is to be vulnerable yourself.

Own up to your own mistakes. Let your team see you as a person – someone who has weaknesses, quirks, and yes, even bad ideas. If you do that, you might become something more than an authority figure. Maybe you’ll show them that the road to real success is bumpy. And maybe that will inspire them. (For more on how your vulnerability improves your team’s performance, check out our post on Google and psychological safety).

I say go for it. Be vulnerable. Encourage your team to be vulnerable. Check out our Approachability Window Tool in The Approachability Playbook for a few more tips on how to do just that.

Have you ever had a boss who squashed your creativity? Did you ever have a boss who was good at letting you experiment or grow from mistakes? Do you notice any of the 5 tips you could add to your leadership tool kit? Let us know in the comments!

Workplace Stress Costs Companies $300 Billion a Year

Workplace Stress Costs Companies $300 Billion a Year

Workplace stress is bad for business and bad for workers.

This, according to recent research compiled by Eastern Kentucky University’s Occupational Safety Department. This new research supports something we’ve emphasized for a while (it is a core topic of our White Paper on The ROI of Approachable Leadership).

Here’s the deal.

Businesses are run by people. Plain and simple. People are emotional, even those of us who have a hard time showing it. We have families, friends, debt, yards to mow, meals to prepare, cars to fix, the list goes on and on (I feel my blood pressure rising just writing that sentence). We have responsibilities – things life requires of us. Then we have jobs. And with a job comes another endless list of more responsibilities.

But somewhere in the midst of all of these responsibilities, we dream. We dream of the things we want for ourselves. Of the books we want to read. The places we want to visit. The mark we want to leave on the world. We dream of a good life – a life well-lived.

Create an environment where people feel like they’re growing – not shriveling up.

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I was going to say that satisfaction isn’t attainable, but that’s wrong. With apologies to the Rolling Stones, you CAN get satisfaction as long as you realize it isn’t a destination or a place you go. Instead you get satisfaction in doses. Moments of joy and contentment. Many times these moments are followed by more work and, yes, sometimes drudgery. When we are our best selves we move from one moment of joy to working on that next step or level on our journey. As we make progress on that journey we experience more joy.

Herzberg teaches us that we leaders can’t make people happy. But we can definitely make them unhappy. We can also help create the conditions where people can experience moments of happiness and joy each day. People spend at least 40 hours a week at their jobs (plus many more hours working at home). We leaders have a responsibility (yes, another responsibility) to create an environment where people can feel like they are making progress. That doesn’t make people feel like they’re shriveling up.

People want to grow. They want to feel useful and valuable. These are the things that drive people to work hard, to innovate, to be pleasant to their coworkers.

When these things a missing people tend to focus on other things – the workplace stress, the frustrations, the lack of energy. They do this until they become so overwhelmed that they are no longer able function to their full capabilities. And this factor alone is costing U.S. companies $150 billion per year in lost productivity.

Juggling work and personal life is just one of the four leading causes of stress in the workplace as reported by EKU. The other three are: lack of job security, people issues, and workload. These are things the leader can heavily influence. But many leaders ignore these issues, either because they aren’t paying attention (leaders are busy and dealing with workplace stress too) or nobody tells them because they don’t feel comfortable enough to do so. They don’t have an approachable leader.

I know it sounds almost too simple of a solution, but it works.

89% of employees of approachable leaders report being happy, less stressed, and more satisfied with their work.

They feel this way because they can talk to their leader. When they have an issue at work, it gets resolved; when they have an issue outside of work, it gets shared and understood; when they have an idea, it gets encouraged.

Have a look at the infographic below for a better understanding of how workplace stress is impacting your company and your team. Then, go here to get a copy of The Approachability Playbook. It’ll teach you how to be a more approachable leader one tool at a time.

Think about a recent time you dealt with stress in the workplace (I’m sure it won’t be hard). What do you think would have helped you manage that stress a little better? Was there anything your coworkers could do? Your boss?

Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe | Simon Sinek TED Talk

Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe | Simon Sinek TED Talk

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmyZMtPVodo]

Good leaders make you feel safe, but there’s a difference between good leaders and most leaders.

You’ve probably seen this TED Talk before. It’s been viewed millions of times. If you haven’t seen it before check it out – you won’t regret it.

Sinek’s main point is that good leaders make you feel safe. This is a core principle of Approachable Leadership.

There’s a difference between good leaders and most leaders. Most leaders make their employees scared. This is usually not on purpose. But it still happens.

We each relate to power differently. Anytime there is a power relationship in play (and there is almost ALWAYS some sort of power relationship in play) we tend to act different than when we are with a peer. Some of us have very little concern with people in power and treat them mostly as peers. Most of us are more concerned about power, and treat people in power positions with more deference. This describes something called “power distance.”

The reason we defer to more powerful people often boils down to fear and loss of control. Powerful people can make stuff happen to us. In a work setting it could mean making us do something we don’t like, taking away something we do like, or in the worst case taking away our livelihood completely. Power distance, then, measures how scared we are of people in power. If we have low power distance (or a small power distance gap) we feel less fear. If we have wide power distance we have more fear.

This power distance works at a very primal level. For most of us when the boss approaches, our flight-or-fight reflexes immediately kick in. Our blood pressure rises and adrenaline pumps through our bodies. If we think we are in trouble or there is a problem it’s even worse. This is why Sinek believes the key job of a leader is to make us feel safe.

Reducing power distance makes you feel safe.

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Sinek believes there are two key qualities of the best organizations—trust and cooperation. But this is the opposite of most companies. Most companies foster an environment where the individual feels like she has to look out for herself. Sinek states:

“In the military, they give medals to people who are willing to sacrifice themselves so others may gain. In business, we give bonuses to people who are willing to sacrifice others so that we may gain.”

There is a key difference between these two environments. In one the people focus energy and effort on protecting themselves from each other. The other encourages people to combine their talents and strengths to face the dangers outside and to seize opportunity. He goes on to say:

“The only variable [we have control of] are the conditions inside the organization and that’s where leadership matters because it’s the leader that sets the tone. When the leader makes the choice to put the safety and lives of the people inside the organization first, to sacrifice their comforts and sacrifice the tangible results so that the people remain and feel safe and feel like they belong, remarkable things happen.”

Sinek is talking about reducing power distance. Reducing power distance makes you feel safe.

Sinek suggests that trust and cooperation are the keys to unlocking your company’s potential. While this is great advice, even Sinek acknowledges it isn’t all that actionable. “The problem with concepts of trust and cooperation is that they are feelings. They are not instructions,” Sinek says. When you tell a leader that they need to be more trustworthy or they need to get their team to cooperate more you get a blank stare. Or defensiveness—”What do you mean I’m not trustworthy?”

You can’t force your employees to trust you. Nor can you force them to cooperate. How can you actually implement this advice? That’s where approachability comes in.

Over the next few months we will share some exciting new research that explains how teaching good leaders the simple, practical basics of approachability lays the foundation for a trust-based and cooperative organization.

What do you think about Sinek’s Talk? Do you agree or disagree that trust and cooperation are essential to creating a work environment that thrives, innovates, and lasts? Do you think good leaders are the ones who make you feel safe?

4 Reasons Why Leaders Should Listen More

4 Reasons Why Leaders Should Listen More

Listen more. Talk less.

Peter Drucker said, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”

I was reminded of this quote last week while reading “4 Things Your Employees Are Desperately Trying to Tell You.” This article caught my eye for the same reason Drucker’s quote did when I first read it – because I think THE most valuable skill of leaders is to listen more and to hear what isn’t said out loud.

Leaders hear what isn’t said.

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What do our employees want to say but don’t? Avery Augustine lists 4 things:

  1. “I’m Bored.” Being bored happens. It’s hard to avoid, especially when you feel like you’re doing the same thing every day. People need to be challenged to stay engaged. Listen more and look for signs of boredom (even subtle ones) and find challenges to stretch their skills.
  2. “I Need Your Intervention.” Some situations the boss just needs to handle. Maybe it’s a key customer that just won’t listen. Maybe it’s a miscommunication between coworkers. Whatever the issue, sometimes you just need to step in and take care of it. Your employees want you to. They’re just afraid to ask. They may think it will make them look weak or unable to do their job. Encourage employees to ask for help and don’t be hesitant to help (although ask for permission – you don’t want to make your employee feel undermined). This helps you prevent small problems from turning into big ones that create disengaged employees.
  3. “I’m Being Overworked.” This one is extremely important. If an employee is overworked, it’s probably because they’re extremely capable. They do good work. You trust them so you default to them when you need something done. But you probably assume they will tell you if they have a problem. Sometimes they will. A lot of times they won’t. You have to listen more and take notice of the little things – a comment here or a deep breath there. At the very least, check in every now and then and make sure the workload is OK.
  4. “I Need Some Coaching.” Rarely will employees tell you straight up that they need your help. They don’t want you to think they are incapable. But sometimes they do need guidance and you need to look for the tell-tale signs. Notice any hesitation when you assign a project. What are they doing with their eyes? Does it look like they’re in deep thought trying to wrap their mind around what you just asked them to do?

As leaders we must learn to listen more and notice things that are unspoken. Our employees aren’t going to tell us everything we wish they would. Acknowledge that we may be a part of the problem. What kind of vibes are you giving off? Do your folks feel welcome or do they feel like an interruption?

At Approachable Leadership, we call this hesitation to approach a leader a “power distance gap.”

It’s the leader’s actions that will either close that gap or create further distance. But first, you must learn to notice the gaps – “listen more” with your eyes if you will. Our “Recognizing Gaps” Tool in The Approachability Playbook provides detailed examples of how to do just that. Check it out.

How do you respond when you feel you’re being overworked, under-appreciated, or not getting enough detail to do your job? Do you tell your superior? Do you wish they would just realize it on their own? What is one thing you could do to be better at following up with your employees?

 

Approachability Minute | Abilene Paradox

Approachability Minute | Abilene Paradox

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqORj7ro334]

We all do things that we don’t actually want to do. Why? Sometimes it’s because we don’t feel strongly one way or another. Other times we may just be trying not to rock the boat. Then there are the times when someone we care about wants to do something…so we do it.

I want to focus on the times when we do things that we don’t want to do even though we feel strongly about not doing it. This can lead to frustration, disappointment and sometimes even tragedy. The most tragic circumstance is when a group of people make a terrible decision that NONE of them agree with. This is called the Abilene Paradox.

Can Approachable Leadership keep your team from going to Abilene?

Do you ever agree to do something even though deep down you disagree with the decision? Have you ever experienced the Abilene Paradox with your team? Why? Do you see how Approachability can help you stop taking unnecessary road trips to Abilene?

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