New Year, Same Resolutions: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

New Year, Same Resolutions: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

New Year, Same Resolutions: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

The New Year showed up again.

If your office is anything like mine, that means a lot of talk about resolutions and a “better me.” Personally, I love this time of year. It encourages people to reexamine their lives, their actions, their work ethic, their discipline and their dreams.

I use this time to revisit my life plan and my goals. I reflect on what I accomplished and recommit to working harder on the things I didn’t. For me, and for many others, these “resolutions” (if you want to call them that) tend to cover the same areas year after year. Mine are things like:

  • Make better decisions for my health. Like eating Paleo, doing my morning reading on my exercise bike (instead of sitting at the kitchen table), and drinking more water.
  • Find a way to stay involved with my daughter and her friends. For the past couple years, it’s been by coaching her debate team.
  • Make sure I prioritize dates with my amazing wife. Anyone who owns a business or travels a lot can feel me on this one. Although, this is a good resolution for most people and their spouses regardless of their situation.
  • ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS work on practicing what I preach – that is, Approachable Leadership. Get to know my team better. Show gratitude. Be warm, open, and available.

And then, of course, there’s this one other thing. 

For me, it’s the glue that keeps my other resolutions on track: to hike. Let me explain.

That same reexamining and recommitment that everyone does around the New Year happens to me whenever I hike. I have a sign on my wall that is a constant reminder. It reads, “Solvitur Ambulando,” which is Latin for, “It is solved by walking.”

The problem is, I don’t make it happen near as often as I should. It seems that’s the way with these kinds of resolutions, right?

We recognize that this one thing is the thing we need to make happen. Because, for lack of a better phrase, it’s the keystone.  Then before you know it, everything else seems so much more important. And that one thing falls by the wayside.

What is your one thing?

Last year I resolved to finish my quest to complete the Ozark Highlands Trail (or OHT). If you’re into hiking or absolutely stunning scenery and you haven’t been to northwest Arkansas, GO. You won’t regret it.

I get so motivated and focused after a day on the trail. Not that there aren’t distractions in the woods. I’ve encountered everything from bears and rattlesnakes to the most beautiful sunsets and vistas I’ve seen anywhere. But these are much different distractions from my usual day-to-day phone calls, emails, and texts. The OHT pushes your physical and mental toughness at the same time it’s stretching your soul.

Whenever I can make it happen – which isn’t often enough – I like to hike with good friends like Greg Kittinger and Mike McBride. My wife and daughter also join me and last year’s hike they even joined me for a leg on the OHT. Unfortunately, I only made it out to the OHT one weekend last year. This year I resolve to do much better.

For those of you that have done any work with our firm, you probably recognize Greg. He heads up our Business Development and is a key part of the developing and deploying our Approachable Leadership content. Greg is a lifelong learner and on the Board of our local Association for Talent Development chapter.

When I think about resolutions or hiking the OHT, I can’t help but think about 3 questions Greg texted me from a recent ATD conference. The 3 questions are:

  1. Where do you want to go?
  2. What are you currently carrying that is not needed or harmful?
  3. What do you need for the journey?

These are powerful questions. When you are heading into the woods these questions can mean the difference between a great day and a horrible one. Do you have enough water? How about something to eat? Maps? The right clothes? And taking too much on your journey can be just as bad as not enough. The pack gets heavier the longer you have to carry it.

What do you need for your own journey? As you think about your goals for this year, ask yourself these three questions. Whether you are setting a personal, professional or leadership goal, you could do a heck of a lot worse than starting with these questions.

Now how can you apply these three questions to your leadership?

One of the important lessons we teach in our workshop is that your team members usually don’t want you to fix their problems. But most leaders can’t help themselves. And the second you start thinking about how to fix their problem you are no longer focusing on the only thing that matters: making a connection.

Your folks want to be understood. They need to know you have faith in them to fix their own problems. They may need an obstacle removed or a tool to help them do that. Often, the only tool a person needs is a fresh perspective. These questions are a great way to provide just that.

Sometimes the only tool a person needs is a fresh perspective.

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I encourage you to use these questions the next time a coworker comes to you with a problem. Or the next time you’re heading into the woods.

What resolutions did you set for yourself? How about for your leadership? Remember that all that matters is that we’re consistently trying to improve. Be kind to yourself, especially when you veer off the trail. Just get back on as soon as you can. Happy New Year!

PS This picture is of me at mile marker 99 of the OHT. Yes, my trail-wear is a little unorthodox. In cooler weather, I always wear a Sail Rigger oxford shirt (pretty much the only shirt I wear). In this case over one of my favorite t-shirts, which sports a picture of The Bard and a quote that I’m pretty sure isn’t accurate.

Approachability Playbook Released on Amazon: Bonus Offers

Approachability Playbook Released on Amazon: Bonus Offers

Approachability Playbook Released on Amazon: Bonus Offers

Most of you know I love music.

I was listening to a favorite Spotify playlist when I started this post. In the nick of time a classic song inspired me. Many dreams come true…some have silver linings (Recognize the lyric? Scroll to the bottom to see if you’re right!)

In addition to music I am passionate about leadership. I’m excited to announce we just released The Approachability Playbook today on Amazon. You can get a Paperback or a Kindle version. This is the First Edition of The Playbook. That’s a dream come true. Now for the silver lining…

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

You can get The Playbook on Amazon. We have some great bonuses for anyone who buys a copy, writes a review, or tells their friends to grab a copy. Check out the bonuses here. If you want the details on the bonus offers read on. Now get back to work 😉

DETAILS

Since many of you already have a copy (or more) of the Preview Edition of The Playbook (thanks!), you may be wondering: Why “launch” a First Edition? What’s the difference between the Preview Edition and the First Edition?

playbook-first-edition-3d-box-shotIS THIS EDITION DIFFERENT? The First Edition is an edited version of The Playbook based on feedback we got from readers of the Preview Edition. But note: this release is substantially the same as the Preview Edition (thankfully most of the feedback was great). DO NOT buy a copy of the First Edition expecting it to be a lot different from the Preview Edition. There are some differences but you’ll have to look carefully to spot them.

WHY THE LAUNCH? This is the first time The Playbook is available on Amazon. We have a good chance to make this an Amazon bestseller which gives us a chance to spread the word about Approachability to a much wider audience. That’s why we need YOUR help.

If you already have a Preview Edition of The Approachability Playbook you got to the party early. It would really help us spread the word if you could give us a review on Amazon or tell your friends about our launch on Facebook, LinkedIN, Twitter or any other social media you use. A friendly email works great too.

While many of you would do this just to help us spread the word, we want to give you a little something for your effort. Hence, the “silver lining” bonuses.

We’ve got two special gifts for you. You can qualify for one or both by taking the actions below:

learn-lead-huddle-3q-deck-slide5BONUS 1 ($500 value): Learn and Lead Huddle Training Session. This is BRAND NEW training. Be one of the first to see this exciting new way to train your leaders about Approachable Leadership. Teach your team to use the 3 Questions of Approachable Leaders. This complete training module includes a Facilitator Guide (including our Quickstart Guide and Facilitator Webinar where we walk you through the module step-by-step), PowerPoint Deck, Video, Handouts, and Exercises for the team. You also get up to 10 Action + Leadership Journals. These Journals help your team track their progress after completing the Huddle. Additional Journals are $9.99 each.

HOW TO QUALIFY FOR BONUS 1: Show us that you encouraged your network to check out The Playbook on Amazon. Make sure you use #ALPlaybook in your message on Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter or tag us on your message. If you send out an email just copy us on the email. Here is an example message you can copy and paste:

I just got The Approachability Playbook. Get yours! https://amzn.to/2eUsU0G #ALPlaybook

action-leadership-journal-3dBONUS 2 ($14.99 value): Action + Leadership Journal. These are also BRAND NEW. This 168-page Journal is designed specifically to help you improve your follow-up and follow-through skills while building your Approachable Leadership. The Journal will track follow-up actions for a full quarter. you can learn more about the Journal here.

HOW TO QUALIFY FOR BONUS 2: Either purchase a copy of The Playbook on Amazon or write a review if you already have a copy. Send us your receipt or order number from Amazon, or send us a screenshot of your review. Then order the Journal from the bonus page and we will ship as soon as we’ve confirmed your purchase or review.

You can see all the details (and take advantage of one OR both bonus offers) by visiting our Bonus Offer page.

Thank you so much for being a part of our Approachable Leadership community and for spreading the word about The Approachability Playbook to your network. We really appreciate it!

Stay tuned for more exciting news in the next few weeks and enjoy your bonuses. Stay Approachable!

P.S. The lyric is from Led Zeppelin’s Over the Hills and Far Away. “Many times I’ve wondered how much there is to know.” The playlist is called XRTish inspired by my favorite Chicago radio station. Rock on.

Why You Should Use the “F-Word” with Your Team

Why You Should Use the “F-Word” with Your Team

Why You Should Use the “F-Word” with Your Team

You should use the F-word with your team a LOT more than you do.

Do you use the F-word with your team? I sure do. The F-word gets people’s attention. When you drop an F-bomb your teammates will sit up and listen to what you have to say. It’s a signal that lets them know you mean business.

A lot of people are surprised that I recommend using the F-word. They don’t think it’s approachable. But I think dealing with frustration is one of the most important things a leader can do for her team.

(Wait, did you think I was talking about another word that starts with F? That’s totally unapproachable! Get your mind out of the gutter!)

Your team should start using the F-word too.

Getting your team to talk about what’s frustrating them is a critical leader behavior. Before you can do anything to help someone dealing with frustration they must open up about it. And believe it or not, most people don’t want to talk about their frustrations.

People often feel like talking about their frustrations, especially with their boss, will just come off as complaining. They believe if they are seen as a complainer that it will hurt them at work. Plus they see a lot of their coworkers dealing with frustration too, and they don’t want to seem weak or whiny.

It is up to you to get people to start using the F-word with you. Get them to open up and talk about their day-to-day frustrations and the everyday friction in their job. Not as a gripe session. But as a way to start thinking about solution-focused ways to make their work day smoother.

Dealing with frustration? Try the PITA Principle

Do you know the PITA principle? It stands for the Pain in the… you know what… Principle. (I’m doing my best to avoid actual swearing in this article 🙂 )

Your job as a leader is to seek out the PITA your team faces. Then – like a frustration-seeking missile – you destroy that friction from their daily work. You know, things like:

  • That coworker who thinks his mom works here (or that lunchroom trash just magically throws itself away);
  • The equipment that constantly breaks down from lack of (10-minute) preventive maintenance; or
  • The TPS report that is an “urgent priority” (Can you get that to me? That’d be great) that nobody ever looks at and derails you from critical tasks.

If you get good at applying the PITA Principle your team will do anything for you.

Work can be frustrating.

From equipment that doesn’t work right, to policies (and people) that don’t make sense, to miscommunication, to missed deadlines, the list goes on. Every single company faces these frustrations every single day.

But as leaders we cannot just accept that work is frustrating. As leaders, we must RAIL against this frustration. We must never accept frustration as the norm in our environment. Frustration breeds resentment. It breeds disinterest, disengagement, turnover, and health issues. It destroys collaboration, quality, organizational citizenship and so much more.

Don’t be afraid to drop the F-bomb (frustration) on your team.

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Maybe you’ve started your own list of frustration as you’ve been reading this. A list of the things your employees complain about (when they feel comfortable talking to you about it). Is there anything on that list that the right kind of leader couldn’t make better?

How using the F-word can help your team.

Here are the steps any leader can take to begin dealing with frustration on their team:

  1. Accept that your job is to reduce friction. Trust me, I know how easy it is to get caught up in the numbers and the client relationships and the deadlines and overlook the frustrations of my team. Sometimes it seems like those hard factors are the most important aspects of my job. But what I’ve come to realize is that when I take care of my team, everything else takes care of itself. And when I take my eye off the ball is when the wheels start to come off.
  2. Ask your team about any frustration they’re dealing with. You aren’t going to fix something you don’t even know is an issue. Therefore you begin by making frustration and friction an acceptable topic. Make clear you don’t consider this whining or complaining. Your job is to clear away anything getting in the way of your team and you can’t do that without talking about it. But remember, if you haven’t been the kind of leader who regularly checks up on your team, they may be hesitant to share with you. Start by building a relationship. Show concern. This builds trust.
  3. Action, not words. There is nothing more frustrating (or belittling) than feeling like you made a breakthrough with your boss, only to realize through their lack of action or effort, that they just going through the motions. If you’re going to start the discussion you better plan on following up and following through. Otherwise you are just one more giant PITA on the list of frustrations. You’ll be doing more harm than good.

And last but not least…

Don’t be afraid to drop the “F bomb” on your team.

For example:

“You seem frustrated. Is there anything I can do to help?”

This question is a game-changer. Not only does it show that you’re paying attention to them, it affirms their feelings. While your employee is dealing with frustration they will question if it’s even okay for them to be frustrated. Your affirmation that “yes, we’ve put you in a bind.” Or, “no, you shouldn’t have to deal with that,” might be all they need in that moment.

Go ahead, use the F-word. Your team will be glad you did.

How often do you get frustrated at work? And how much better would your job be if you could eliminate some of those frustrations? Have you ever had a leader acknowledge your feelings of frustration? How did that make you feel? Let us know in the comments.

Developing Leaders Through Training

Developing Leaders Through Training

Developing Leaders Through Training

Developing leaders is a crucial to any thriving business.

But two things prevent a lot of companies from developing leaders. Time and money. Sound anything like your company?

Developing leaders is easy to put on the back burner, especially if time and money are in short supply (and when aren’t they in short supply?) It takes a strong commitment.

I’d like to highlight one of our clients who really gets the importance of investing in leaders: Ellwood Texas Forge Navasota (ETFN). They are a forge located in Navasota, Texas. They are part of a 100+ year old privately held business employing over 2,000 employees. They supply high-quality engineered, heavy metal components to customers all over the world.

What’s ETFN’s secret to success? Quality leadership.

For the past several years ETFN has been working hard on developing leaders. They meet monthly to work on their leadership, and they read leadership books together. The first time I visited Navasota over half of the team showed up for my training with my book Left of Boom! I learned that pairs of leaders were asked to do presentations on each chapter in my book (and I was reassured that this was not done as punishment!)

Developing leaders is important to ETFN.

Over the last two years I’ve been honored to help developing leaders at ETFN. Our focus is on leader approachability. Last year we did our Approachable Leadership Workshop. After the Workshop leaders continued to develop their Approachable Leadership skills through the year by working with an accountability partner.

Last month we did a deeper dive on four of the key behaviors of approachability. Here is the “team picture” from the event:

The Four items we focused on this year were:

  • The Approachability Window. We used a new exercise to illustrate The Approachability Window. It helps leaders understand how to reliably build connections by opening up and asking for feedback from teammates. This behavior is difficult for leaders and is hard to simulate. Our exercise is a great way to quickly put people into a safe – but real – conversation where they give and receive feedback about “blind spots.” Each leader walked out of the room with a tool they can use to have the exact same discussion with their own teams. Several leaders mentioned this as one of their key takeaways from the day.
  • Recognizing Gaps. We often tell folks that your teammates aren’t going to some up and say they aren’t comfortable approaching you (especially the ones we need to approach us the most). So you have to get really good at recognizing the “tells” that someone is experiencing a gap. We worked our way through the Recognizing Gaps Tool and the team learned how to recognize – and shrink – power distance gaps.
  • Positive Feedback. Next we went over how to give positive feedback. We shared our 5-part Positive Feedback Model and surprised quite a few leaders when explaining how the popular “feedback sandwich” is a terrible way to give feedback, even though many consider it positive feedback (it’s not). Instead we taught our model that teaches how to give feedback in a way that motivates, builds relationships, and encourages “above and beyond” work (a key to thriving teams).
  • Coaching Someone with a Performance Concern. Finally, we talked about coaching when someone is struggling (again, no feedback sandwich). Instead you make the “Hero Assumption” and use a goal-setting model that people find motivational instead of feeling like they are about to get fired. Unfortunately, a lot of coaching conversations feel like that. This was another key takeaway mentioned by the leaders who attended.

We LOVE developing leaders.

It is so rewarding to work with leader teams like the one at ETFN who really value building leadership skills. More important they practice building these skills – you can have the best playbook in the world, but if you don’t do the reps in practice you will never execute the plays. I’m looking forward to my next trip to Navasota to see how much more progress they make!

Does your company invest in developing leaders? What has your experience been? Let us know in the comments!

Generational Stereotypes Are BS – Here’s What to Do Instead

Generational Stereotypes Are BS – Here’s What to Do Instead

Generational Stereotypes Are BS – Here’s What to Do Instead

Generational stereotypes are bad for business.

Our culture is obsessed with generational stereotypes. Seems like there is a new article every day giving us some “great new insight” into how to deal with the millennials (and now Generation Z) creeping into our companies. Here’s my insight.

Most of it is bullshit.

People are people. Yes, younger people look at the world through a different lens than those of us who’ve been around a little (or a lot) longer and experienced a little (or a lot) more. But deep down we are way more alike than we are different. All of us want the same things. We want to be engaged. And to be challenged. We want to be respected. To be valued.

Generational stereotypes create unfair labels.

Jessica Kriegel’s book Unfairly Labeled dives into the problem with generational stereotypes. Kriegel earned a Ph.D. from Drexel University in 2013. But when she first set out to write her doctoral dissertation, she hit a roadblock. Originally, she planned to defend the “unique attributes of the millennial generation.” Then she discovered that there weren’t any.

“As I was reading all of the different books, research articles, and peer-reviewed studies on generational difference, I started to realize how much contradiction there is in the literature. …I realized it’s all kind of made up. There’s not a lot of hard data that supports any of these assumptions. It’s all anecdotal, case studies, research studies with 200 people that they apply to the broader population. And it’s all really damaging.”

Generational stereotypes do more harm than good.

The irony is interesting. Leaders often research how to better handle certain generations. They do this because they want to be good leaders. They want to understand their teammates better – figure out what makes them tick. But unfortunately, a lot of the time this research does more harm than good.

“They’re creating a judgement about what their employee is going to be. And not getting to know the employee in front of them. Because they think they’ve already got them figured.”

There aren’t any “secret decoder rings” for people. As soon as you lump people into a bucket, and make assumptions about them based on whatever category you put them in, you are screwed. That’s not just true of generational stereotypes. It is true of racial, cultural, religious, gender, and any other bucket you might choose.

Here are 3 things to focus on instead of generational stereotypes:

  1. Focus on “differences” – not “generations.” Most companies don’t provide enough individualized praise, feedback, and coaching. This is one of the biggest complaints employees make in our engagement research. And it’s true across every generation. Don’t pigeon-hole employees into generational boxes. Instead, focus on each person as a unique individual. People get demoralized when they feel like they aren’t valued. But they will run through a brick wall for you if they believe you care about them as a person.
  2. Embrace individualized feedback. Take an active interest in the development of your employees. As a result, folks will be engaged and happy to go above and beyond. And they’ll remain that way. By the way, providing mentoring opportunities is a terrific way to help both the mentor and mentee feel valued. There is nothing more motivating to us than the belief we are growing and making a contribution in our lives. Again, this has nothing to do with generational differences. But everything to do with individual uniqueness. And each person’s desire to make progress in his or her life.
  3. Focus on constraints. Don’t structure your business to appeal to Generations X, Y or Z. This just makes it more likely you’ll implement practices or technologies that can kill individual motivation. (Even if the generation du jour loves the new program.) Focus on bottlenecks and friction in your business instead of generational stereotypes. What are the things that frustrate people every day? This moves attention to where it is most needed. Each individual (no matter when they were born) will come up with practices they’re comfortable with. And all the while, you can be reassured that business is moving forward.

Click here to check out Kriegal’s interview with Wharton Business School at UPenn. And learn more about why generational stereotypes are bad for business.

Change Leadership: What You Need to Know From the Get-Go

Change Leadership: What You Need to Know From the Get-Go

Change Leadership: What You Need to Know From the Get-Go

Change leadership is a hard job. And it’s never ending.

This is because change is a routine part of life – a blessing and a curse. American journalist, Sydney Harris put it this way:

“Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.”

Humans are designed for change. Think of it this way. The fact that you are on the planet today means that generations and generations of your ancestors were really good at adapting to change. Adapting to change is hard-wired into our operating systems.

But just because we can deal with change doesn’t mean we can’t be overwhelmed by it. Especially when it happens fast. Even though we CAN adapt doesn’t mean we always WANT to. We like what we know, and that’s why we resist change. It’s important that, as leaders and people, we understand that this resistance to change is also human nature. And that resistance burns up both physical and emotional energy.

The Hero Assumption

The Hero Assumption (“nobody thinks they are the villain of their story”) is one of the core themes of Approachable Leadership. Our beliefs about our teammates have a direct impact on how they perform. If you assume your people want to do great work, they do. If you assume they don’t give a crap, they won’t. Don’t believe it? Check out the stunning Pygmalion Effect research by Rosenthal and others.

What does this have to do with resistance to change? Everything. If you make the Hero Assumption about your teammates you know that resistance to change is natural. It’s just an obstacle on the way to adapting to change. Something your heroes will overcome. You don’t judge resistance as a sign of weakness, lack of integrity, or laziness.

Good change leadership starts with understanding that resistance to change is natural. We all do it. They prepare for resistance. They embrace it. And they do their best to help their team overcome this natural resistance from the get-go.

How do you mitigate resistance?

There are several strategies to mitigate resistance. First, acknowledge that it is natural to resist change. Second, discuss it. An approachable leader makes it OK to talk about what’s troubling you. The three questions of approachable leaders are a great starting point for these discussions:

  1. Do you have what you need? Perhaps the change initiative creates a resource constraint. Is there anything you can add to the effort that can help your team overcome an obstacle they face?
  2. What would make things better? Maybe there is something you could take away that would make things a little bit easier or less frustrating.
  3. Where are we going? A big reason people resist change is that they don’t really understand or agree with the need for the change in the first place. Talking with your team about the need and value of a change effort often helps them grit through a difficult time.

Being an Approachable Leader reduces distance between the leader and the team. It builds trust. Trust in you. To do two things:

  • Keep the ship moving forward; and
  • Value each person’s place on the crew.

If your team members believe that you care about them and the safety, security, and success of the vessel, changes will be met with less resistance.

Guaranteed.

For more on change leadership, check out the first two articles in our Managing Change series here and here.

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